‘death, me, dying tree‘ is both a service project and a living, breathing experiment that explores how we as a society can grow and evolve into a community that not only celebrates and respects life, but also celebrates and respects death, and by doing so is greener, healthier, and freer.
We curate free public events and resources where all can mourn the ongoing destruction and natural death in the modern world while being offered tools to bring joy and love into this essential process. We offer:
- Free participatory events in communities across the U.S.,
- An online platform providing free resources, and
- Digital content that normalizes death and grief in our world, including an upcoming docuseries featuring essential death care organizers who are working to shift how we hold each other and stay present in these hard times.
Take Action
Talk to at least one loved one about your End Of Life Plans:
Above all else we see creating a death file (will, advance directive, burial preferences and more) as one of the most beautiful gifts you can give to your loved ones. In the event of your unforeseen death, all they will then have to do is focus on mourning your death, and celebrating your life.
We know that talking to loved ones about end of life plans is difficult. We know that these are turbulent times we’re living in. If you aren’t able to attend one of our virtual or in person events, don’t hesitate to reach out by emailing: deathmedyingtree@gmail.com. You can also check out our resources page to learn about many helpful platforms and professionals in the death field who can help you through this beautiful but intense process.
How To Make A Death File:
Check out our Resources page to learn more about how to make a Death File and all the platforms, professionals, and steps to keep in mind while creating your file.
“The Stages of Death” may help you with your own fear of death:
Watch our events trailer from 2020 (things have shifted since then, the pandemic certainly altered the course of this project, docuseries, and the story for us all):
An old teaser for this project that still has some life in it:
Additional death, me, dying tree outreach programs
We’re turning one of our community projects on mourning into a book:
It’ll be part herbal recipe, part coffee table art book.
So that the reader can digest a personal or collective grief while sipping one of the elixir recipes, and take in the work of an artist who has needed to do the same thing.
If you’d like to participate as a recipe maker or art maker in the book, please email deathmedyingtree@gmail.com, we have made about half of the book and are still looking for submission, do reach out.
Our dream is that through this community experiment people will feel less alone with the grief they are holding. More soon.
Grieving Gardens in communities around the world:
If you would like to join this initiative please email deathmedyingtree@gmail.com, and we’ll share our group document where we are organizing this project.
Examples:
- Design, create, and share a garden on your front lawn with simple instructions, inviting people to take a moment to connect with their grief.
- Partner with your local government or another service organization to attain permissions to create a grieving garden in a park or out front of a common gathering place, all you need is a small patch of earth to realize this offering.
“PEOPLE NOT AFRAID OF DEAD THINGS”:
An expose on people who work with DEAD materials for a LIVING.
This mini-series aims to de-stigmatize having a relationship with death. Episode 1 will premier next spring… popping up with the saplings that often grow out of dead logs:
Temporary Mourning Rituals for Animal/Pet Death & Ecological Grief:
These rituals aim to be a physical catharsis and memorial for loss. And a reminder to you that grief is the flipside of love, it’s not fair, and it is a part of our lives. We hope this helps you to recognize all that you’re dealing with as you navigate grieving and honoring what you’ve lost (whether that be a loved one, a dream, a job, a relationship, a companion animal, ecological safety, or really anything you formed an attachment to to survive;) while living your everyday life.
Grief is something that we can’t see, and that makes acknowledging and feeling it all the more difficult: so these rituals may help by giving you permission to take time out of your day to metabolize and essentially digest your grief. Grief bruises the heart, but we can’t see that, thus these rituals are a way to see the unseeable, to have a reminder of what’s going on beneath the surface.
The temporary tattoo colors associated with each “week” of the ritual mirror a healing bruise… after the initial shock that only black can hold, we move into red, flow into blue, and the metaphorical bruise ages finally into yellow. These colors are guides to remind you that while grief never goes away, it does morph and change like a bruise moving from the surface back into your bloodstream and body.
These rituals are kid friendly, in fact we encourage you to move through them as a community or family, together.
While we originally designed this line of temporary tattoos and accompanying rituals for pet and or ecological grief: you can use these rituals to metabolize anything. You can custom order a tattoo to represent a beloved human, a big life transition, or really any grief or loss that you are processing.
You can find these rituals here: scholarships are available, simply email deathmedyingtree@gmail.com.
All the profits of these temporary tattoo mourning ritual sales will be a donation to “death, me, dying tree”- so that we can continue to curate and produce events and resources to help transmute our societal relationship with death.
Here’s a work sample from our community mourning events:
…Another work sample merging mental health, life, and death:
Testimonials from Event Participants & Death File 1:1 Sessions
“death, me, dying tree was a profoundly moving experience that helped me recognize deep fears and questions in a welcoming and supportive space. Lana effortlessly weaves together ritual and performance while also providing a vast catalogue of information about death and dying. Participants will not only be touched on a deeply personal and spiritual level, but they’ll also take away much practical information that will allow them to communicate more openly about the cycles of life and death with themselves and with loved ones. “
“Attending the Chicago event on Monday night and flying to be at my grandmother’s bedside the next morning, while she died for three days (finally passing on Friday at 5pm) was life changing. It prepared me to be present with her, to attend to my grieving grandfather, to logistically arrange things for my mom who was not in town, and prepared me to be in deep communion with my family for 12 days.”
“Lana transformed what would have been a challenging and confusing process into one that was approachable, actionable and fully supported. Lana’s efforts kept me organized and clear on what tasks needed to be completed next while honoring my own rhythms. This included providing resources and information to support my environmental values and gently educating me on various rules and regulations that helped me to make more informed choices. I am extremely grateful to have been able to work with Lana in creating my death planning file and paperwork. I cannot think of a better person to have guided me through this integral and meaningful process.”
“I’m in a little bit of a transition… well my grandpa died last week, so it was really crazy timing, so it was the next day that I saw this event, I really want to have a better relationship with death, because I feel like it could be a beautiful thing, and I would like to help my family with it as well, because they’re all struggling you know.”
“I had this feeling today that my mom was having a good time, she was like oh it’s a party for me! I had this moment of like there are all these presences in the room of people who are like oh they’re remembering me and talking about me instead of being like, I don’t talk about my dead mom.”
(Why did you come to this event?) “Because I avoid it all the time… if I’m in a group of people who are all talking about it, it’ll be easier than if I’m doing it on my own.”
“I just wanted to thank you for this gathering, I uh, I lost my mother, my mother passed two months ago and we went through enormous grief but I’ve also been feeling her presence… I feel like she’s been- you know- urging me to complete the grieving process and live my life. But I’ve been feeling a lack of purpose and having a hard time feeling light, and this tonight was so full of light, and so life affirming. But in the context of a recognition of the profundity of the passing and I really appreciate the way you brought that together, because it really enabled me to open to it in a way that I’ve been having a hard time doing, and I really appreciate the work you all are doing.”
“Working with Lana is pure joy even when confronting hard topics like death and dying. She makes it easy to dive deep into uncomfortable zones and the unknown in a safe sacred space, held by her vibrant spirit. Her genuine care matched with her connection to all life & its counterpart death, Lana helps bridge the worlds with an unparalleled sweet sensitivity. She is a gift! A pure channel of love, blessing other’s lives as a reiki practitioner, yoga teacher and death doula.”